June 15, 2016

Disclaimer: This article is not intended as an accusation or defamation of character. This article simply states facts, makes assumptions, and formulates a theory. The only intention is for the reader to take in all that this article has to offer, and decide for themselves.

I know these articles are meant to be satirical, mocking the funny and ridiculous things that happen every day in the sports world. However, there is something to be said for doing some investigation into an odd set of circumstances that are related to a funny event. So I’ve decided to do some investigation of my own, and the result is….


Rumors are abound of a conspiracy, after a series of events leading to a forced Game 6, which no one expected. The things that have happened up to this NBA Finals series, and even in the series before, seemed very strange. During the 2015-16 season, Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors had a great year. In terms of fouls, he recorded 13 technical fouls, but only one flagrant foul. It was apparent that he had a big mouth, and he was physical, but he wasn’t violent or even really a dirty player. Now, in the NBA playoffs, he has committed three flagrant-level fouls (kicks to the groin) which he was not assessed for until after the games ended. Finally, his fourth flagrant foul during Game 4 of the Finals (a groin hit to LeBron James), earned him a suspension for Game 5. In the same game…the Warriors won against the Cavaliers at home. Then Game 5 hit. And what a hit to the groin it was. Cleveland absolutely destroyed Golden State at home, with LeBron James and Kyrie Irving running circles, triangles, and squares around the Warriors’ line up. Stephen Curry looked lost. Klay Thompson turned to stone.

So, Ben, what are you trying to get at? It’s simple: the theory that the NBA Finals were supposed to go to Game 6 (or 7) all along. Here is the theory:

Draymond Green was chosen by the NBA to be their instrument of controlling the Finals. The first piece of the puzzle comes from Draymond Green’s behavior during the Playoffs. The fouls that he committed weren’t assessed as flagrants, because he needed to build up enough infractions to be eligible for an ejection at any time during the Finals. The final damning foul needed to be something that wasn’t very violent, so that no one on the other team would be injured badly, therefore ridding the next game of Green without handicapping the Cavaliers by means of injury. Et al, how the flagrant against LeBron didn’t injure him, but it was enough to get him suspended. Why did he commit the foul in Game 4? Because the NBA didn’t expect the Warriors to win Game 4. It was expected that each team would win their respective home games, then each team wins at home until game 7, where the Cavs win at Oakland, winning the championship. So, the contingency plan was put into place. The Warriors were up by 10 points in the fourth quarter, and if the Warriors won Game 5, the series would be over. Thus, the networks televising the Finals would not get the ratings and sponsorship income that they would reap from a six-game or seven games series. Draymond hits LeBron, Draymond is taken out of the Game 5, an integral piece of the Warriors’ lineup is gone, handicapping them and hurting team morale, and the Cavaliers win. Now the Cavaliers will win Game 6, and lose Game 7.

There is another piece to this theory. It’s laughable, but stay with me. The NBA decided to do a promotional giveaway with Taco Bell, called “Steal a Game, Steal a Taco”. If either team won (i.e. stole) a game at the other team’s home court, customers could receive one free taco a few days after. I had a hunch that I might find more anomalies to use for this theory, and alas, I was successful. In the “Terms & Conditions”, it states that “Eligible Consumers may obtain one (1) Free Taco during the Promotion Window on Wednesday, June 15, 2016 (if Stolen Game occurs during Game 1, Game 2 or Game 3) OR Tuesday, June 21, 2016 (if Stolen Game occurs during Game 4, Game 5, Game 6 or Game 7) (“Redemption Date”) only, while supplies last”. Game 3 occurred on June 8th, giving the company at least a full week to prepare to fulfill the demand for the product, should Game 3 be a “Stolen Game”. If Game 7 was to be the “Stolen Game”, this would give the company only two days to prepare, seeing as Game 7 would occur on June 19th. This is a very risky move to make, if they wanted the ingredients to be fresh, while having enough ingredients for  every customer to receive their free taco. If the ingredients were ordered too soon, they might have been sitting in the restaurant for too long while waiting for the first “Stolen Game”, thus resulting in a waste of food and a loss. The NBA planned for Game 7 to be the “Stolen Game”, and for the free taco promotion to happen on June 21st. This would also keep the hype going about the NBA Finals, with people being exposed the brand again only two days after the win.

Am I crazy? Maybe. But this all seems too coincidental. Compare me to Mel Gibson in “Conspiracy Theory” if you wish. If you don’t like this blog anymore because of this article, you are free to leave. We’ll save some crow for you to eat when you come back.

…and that’s My Three Cents.






Draymond Green Punched LeBron James In The Groin During Game 4



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