May 20, 2016

    The “Heat”-ed bromance continues, as LeBron James and Dwayne Wade have re-affirmed their undying friendship (?) According to an interview with (1.), the James’s (or is it the Wades?) know each other better than the actual Wades (Dwayne Wade married Gabrielle Union in 2014). Wade is quoted as saying that even when Wade is late for any dinner that he and James are attending (wonder if they are listed on the guest list as “LeBron & One”), “My wife wouldn’t know what to order…but Bron’s like, I got it.” Wade and James are even known for exchanging “voice notes” besides text messages. “Texts take away from the tone of what you’re trying to say,” according to Wade (now I’m pretty sure James is the man in the bromance). My Three Cents on this? How adorable. It’s a wonder they’ve never worn matching jerseys (oh, wait). I can’t wait for their first mini-spat over dinner during the playoffs. “So, um, LeBron. I saw how you looked at Kyrie Irving on the court last night”.

Barbecue with a Kick (or a Punch)
    There was a time where we sent our kids to their rooms without dinner for fighting with each other. Now, we reward such behavior. A local Texas restaurant named “Heim Barbecue” has declared that Texas Ranger Rougned Odor is entitled to free barbecue for life, in tribute to the right hook that he delivered to Toronto Blue Jay Jose Bautista. Hey Heim, you missed out on a GREAT marketing opportunity. If you really hate Bautista as much as you say you do, run a special involving RIBS (mmmmmmm). Score a full rack of ribs for the price of a half rack, every time someone punches Jose Bautista in the ribs!!! (Disclaimer: I do NOT condone violence, nor am I trying to promote violence. That’s the NHL’s job). But hey, what do I know? I’m neither a restaurant owner, nor a baseball player. I’m just a consumer that loves barbecue. And let me tell ya, the barbecue over at Heim’s looks mouth-watering. Well, I’m hungry, so excuse me while I go dole out a knuckle sandwich for a tuna sandwich.

Choking at the Plate and over the Plate
    I have to admit, when I first saw the headline “MLB player has surgery to have bone removed”(2.), my initial reaction was “Ow?”, and my next reaction was “Wait, don’t we need those?” Well, it turns out it wasn’t a human bone, but a chicken bone that needed to be removed from the throat of Erick Aybar of the Atlanta Braves. I don’t know how this happened. I don’t want to know how this happened. I can’t fathom how this could have happened. All I can say is, try the boneless option next time, Mr. Aybar. A statement issued by Heim Barbecue says that Erick Aybar is unfortunately banned from the restaurant whenever the Braves are in town, citing the many items they have containing bones, and insurance liability issues.

…and that’s My Three Cents.


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