“I’d like to be part of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade”.
“We’d rather have your help in deflating the balloons afterward”.
-The Parade Committee
What SHOULD have happened in the Dallas vs. Washington game:
The game goes to overtime. Josh Norman & Dez Bryant continue to fight. Bryant resorts to calling Josh Norman a “Redskin”. Norman gets offended and calls Dez Bryant a “Cowgirl”. Bryant goes off the handle and says “What’s wrong with being a girl?”. Donald Trump immediately gets on Twitter, and declares that Dez Bryant “is about an 88 or so”.
The New Footloose Stadium in Pittsburgh, PA
Early in the first quarter of Sunday’s late game between the Steelers and the Colts, Antonio Brown & Le’Veon Bell caught a late flag for “unsportsmanlike conduct”, for dancing. Before this, Brown had performed a short dance after scoring a touchdown off of a pass from Ben Roethlisberger. No laundry was thrown. However, according to Section 3, Article 1.e of the 2016 NFL Rulebook, acts that constitute unsportsmanlike conduct include:
Two or more players engaging in prolonged, excessive, premeditated, or choreographed celebrations or demonstrations.
Antonio Brown usually channels Miley Cyrus, by twerking. Anita Ward would be more suitable for Le’Veon “You Can Ring My” Bell. This celebratory dance looked more like a number by two preteen girls on Vine: