May 25, 2016

Nationals Giographic
    Okay, I need to rant (imagine that). I went to my local Buffalo Wild Wings with my editor this past Monday. We went there to see the Washington Nationals play the New York Mets. “We got this”. I said. They got me instead. After a rain delay, the Nats took the field and the Mets took them for a ride. The outfield grass caught more balls than the Nats have all year. Bartolo Colon threw so many strikes, he should’ve been out with the Verizon employees. And Bryce. [sigh]. You don’t go for the home run every at-bat when you’re down 6,000 points!! Every player should have emulated Bartolo Colon’s at-bats. He just stands there. He is the MLB equivalent of the Wal-Mart greeter (only he doesn’t look as friendly and doesn’t give you a sticker). A few bunts, a few sac bunts to get people into scoring position, and a few drives up the middle, and we could have at least gone out with a little more dignity. Instead, we left with less dignity than Chris Christie leaving a donut shop.


Draymond Wars: Revenge of the 35th
    As the saga continues for our young, underprivileged All-star player, his paths cross with Steven Adams, the Center for the Oklahoma City Thunder. Their encounter on the court was an epic one. As Green drives for the basket, he comes face to face with Adams, who fouls him. In a masterful show of maturity and legacy-driven performance, Green kicks Steven Adams square in the nuts. At first, the NBA decided to let him get away with his little audition for the Houston Rockettes. Now, he has incurred a $25,000 fine and is facing an automatic suspension if he commits another flagrant foul. You just can’t catch a break, can you Draymond? Next thing you know, your team will get to the finals and you’ll be pulled for another high kick on one of those nasty 34th or better overall Draft pick players (Adams was picked 12th overall in the 2013 Draft).


You’re a Wizard, Bradley
    The Washington Wizards value their all-star player, John Wall, as a key member of their organization. Their other valued player, however, is a head-scratcher. And he’s milking it for all it’s worth. Bradley Beal, who is a restricted free agent this summer, is quoted as saying, “I want to be valued the right way…I feel like I’m a max player and that’s what I’m looking for. If Washington can’t meet that requirement then I may be thinking elsewhere. I’m pretty sure that they probably won’t [let me go]. At the end of the day, that’s where I want to be. I think a deal will probably get done but you just never know.” (1.) The issue here is, Bradley Beall is as fragile as Donald Trump’s tact. Since he entered the NBA in 2012, his injuries include a sore back, a sprained right wrist, a sprained ankle, a stress injury in his right fibula, a sore big toe, a sore left shoulder, a stress reaction in his right leg, a fractured nose, a concussion, a strained pelvis (1), two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. He says these injuries “do not define him as a player”. The amount of time you can play on the court defines you as a player, Mr. Beall. If you can’t play because of injury, said injuries do define you as a player. “You break it, you buy it” does not apply here. Just don’t sign with the Warriors. Beal was picked third overall in the same draft (2012) as Draymond Green. And you know what Green does to players picked ahead of him that weren’t even in the same draft class as he was…


…and that’s My Three Cents


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