May 31, 2016

I Mean, With Today’s Advances In Science…

     On Monday, Pau Gasol voiced his concerns about going to the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, because of the current “Zika” situation in the area. According to, “The most common symptoms of Zika are fever, rash, joint pain, and conjunctivitis (red epau-gasol-kobe-bryant-partners-lakers-nba-funny-photosyes). The illness is usually mild with symptoms lasting for several days to a week after being bitten by an infected mosquito. People usually don’t get sick enough to go to the hospital, and they very rarely die of Zika… However, Zika virus infection during pregnancy can cause a serious birth defect called microcephaly, as well as other severe fetal brain defects”
So, as long as he takes the proper precautions (not bathing in stagnant ponds, not washing his face in puddles, wearing mosquito spray, slapping away mosquitoes like he does basketballs [uh-oh]), he should be fine. Unless there’s something he isn’t telling us…are you planning to get pregnant soon, Pau? Oh joy, let’s look at these possibilities. It won’t be teammate Joakim Noah, he can’t perform well. He could ask Kobe Bryant, for the superstar baby factor, since he’s retired, and has nothing else to do.

How The West Was Won

    Forgive me if this article isn’t exactly funny, I need to rant (again), and it’s my blog so I can say whatever I want (exceptI love the Cowboys“; please unsubscribe from this blog and throw me into the ocean if I ever do). So here goes nothing: The Golden State Warriors should not be in the NBA Finals. (gasp! I’m un-liking you on Facebook, you cur!) I know it’s not a popular opinion, but let’s look at one simple fact: Draymond Green was a HUGE factor in IFWT_Green-kick-Adams.pngthe Western Conference Finals. However, he has FIVE TECHNICAL FOULS and THREE FLAGRANT POINTS. WHY ISN’T HE SUSPENDED YET? Because half of them have been RETROACTIVE. The NBA has let us down. There is supposed to be a certain level of integrity and consistency to the rules and regulations of The Association. But if this had been any non-superstar player, or any player that was insignificant to the outcome of the Conference Finals, they would have been ejected. If Green does not get suspended before the Finals begin, it would be an atrocity. EVERY single one of his fouls has been BLATANTLY INTENTIONAL. You don’t accidentally kick the same person in the nuts more than twice. You don’t accidentally hook your arm around someone and pull them down. Just wait until the first time he tangles with the NBA’s golden boy, LeBron James. He’ll be crying harder than Dwayne Wade when James doesn’t answer his phone. Draymond will be Dray-gone.

X’s and O’s and No’s

    Love is in the air around The Association (just look at the NBA’s undying love for Draymond Green…okay, I’ll stop). Not so much for Stephen Curry and his daughter, Riley though. In an adorable scene, three-year-old Riley Curry not only refused a kiss on the cheek from her champion dad (see if you get any ice cream!), but she also wiped her cheek after he finally got a peck in. Later, Steven Adams and Draymond Green shared a hug on the court (with a “sorry you got screwed” whispered from Green). Kevin Durant hugged several of the Warriors players. Shaq kissed all the fans, and Ernie Johnson again. Ahhh, spring is in the air, and so is romance. It’s all so reminiscent of when basketball’s favorite couple was featured on the kiss cam:

…and that’s My Three Cents


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