June 3, 2016 (Late Edition)

Barnesea, heartBron, Iguodala, upset Thompson, Dellavedova

Let the NBA Playoff promotions begin. So apparently, if the Home team wins at the Away stadium, or the Away team wins at Home, Taco Bell is going to give you free tacos on  June 15th. There’s no catch, unless digestive problems are a virus you can catch. The real question is, can I use the Home bathroom for my evacuation, even if the Away team wins? The real kicker, would have been if Pepto Bismol had bought the commercial time directly after the promos for this deal. “Steal a Game, Steal a Taco”. Then “The Bathroom Fast Break Sweepstakes” or even better, “If you don’t have a “steal” stomach, Pepto Bismol is here to rescue you!” If it had been the Lakers playing, would I have been able to procure a Kobe Beef Taco? Or maybe if the Warriors win the Finals, my local Chinese place will offer “Stephen Curry Chicken”. Ugh. NBA fans are about to pay for your grandchildren’s college tuition, Procter & Gamble.


Free Throws? Are We Giving Away Team Blankets?

Adam Silver, commissioner of the NBA, thinks that teams shouldn’t suffer if they have players that can’t make free throws. His solution? Get rid of the Hack-a-Shaq (not to be confused with the Hack-a-Shack, where nerds go online and crash the Radio Shack website by placing copious small orders of those 99 cent transistors). This tershaqface.jpgm was coined for the ability for teams to intentionally foul a player who is good at driving into the paint, in order to force him to take a foul shot. Shaquille O’neal is famous for missing free throws more than the Philadelphia Eagles miss Super Bowls. What’s my three cents on this? They’ll have to ban intentional fouling completely. What are they going to do, stop the game to check a player’s free throw percentage? “The ruling on the court, is that #22 sucks at free throws, therefore the team of the player that committed the intentional foul gets free tacos after the game”.


I Pity the Foles

QB see, QB do. Nick Foles is the latest entry into the chain of morons who are refusing to come to practice because of their team’s choice to draft a Quarterback (in this case, the Rams chose Jarcrybaby.jpged Goff with the #1 pick in this year’s NFL Draft). It’s the equivalent of a child not coming to the dinner table, because there’s a new baby in the family. C’mon man! He’s a rookie! He won’t take your place for at least another season. If you don’t practice, you will get replaced because you’ll suck during the game. THIS IS COMMON SENSE. Save the drama for Hollywood. Oh wait. You’re going to Hollywood. I see what’s going on here. You want to land a role on some Hollywood divas reality show. Guess what? You’re already starring in one. It’s called “Hard Knocks”.

…and that’s My Three Cents


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