And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. In honor of those who were senselessly murdered on Saturday Morning in Orlando, we are going to laugh in the face of hatred, and put a smile on our faces, while remembering them for their choice to live happily, not in fear.
Draymond Wars: The Association Strikes Back
It’s about time! Sunday afternoon, the NBA announced that Draymond Green would serve a one-game suspension for punching (not kicking) LeBron James in the groin. So let’s review: a punch gets you free food in the MLB, and a suspension in the NBA. A kick in the groin? Nah, that’s no big deal. Walk it off, junior. Zika’s going to invade the US soon, so you don’t need to be having kids anyway. Apparently, as of Sunday Night, Green was making phone calls from the Golden State Warriors’ practice facility, trying to appeal his punishment. He should be calling LeBron James to apologize…but of course, James’s coach (Tyron Lue) said Friday night that Lebron James never gets calls, so…
Apparently Kevin Durant is a hot commodity in the 2016 free agency, and non-decision-makers everywhere are making their appeals. Washington D.C. has been dreaming of getting Durant for months now, but it’s not going to happen. Courtesy of Legal Sea Foods in Boston, this gem appeared on Wednesday:
His legs are gonna feel like crabs, after carrying the Celtics up and down the court every night. Then came this quote from Oklahoma City Governor Mary Fallin: “If Kevin Durant thinks about leaving, which I hope he doesn’t — Oklahoma loves Kevin Durant, and Kevin Durant loves Oklahoma. But if he’ll stay, I’ll make him a Cabinet person for health and fitness on my Cabinet”. So if he goes to Boston, he gets crab legs. If he stays in Oklahoma City, he gets cramped legs from getting stuffed into the Governor’s kitchen cabinet. Kevin…the choice is clear. Time to go to the Lakers.
No One Else Plays Baseball Here Either, Kid
Hall of Famer Ken Griffey Jr. was, without question, one of the best players ever to run the bases in Seattle. So it would make sense that his son, Trey Griffey, would be a shoe-in to take a spot on his dad’s team, right? Well, the Mariners saw the light and drafted the young Griffey in the 24th round on Friday. He’ll make a great center-fielder. I mean, look at these stats: 6′ 3″, 209 pounds, 11 catches for 284 yards…including a 95-yard touchdown… pass…wait…what? Oh. Trey Griffey is a wide receiver at the University of Arizona. Maybe he played baseball once in a while….not since high school? Well, last time this was done, it went okay…
…and that’s My Three Cents
“Draymond Wars: The Association Strikes Back”
“No One Else Plays Baseball Here Either, Kid”