May 27, 2016

Jets Players Don’t Show Up On Sundays Either
Ah yes. The good ‘ol art of the strike. We aren’t coming to work until you do (insert action). And everyone else is in on it with you. Except the other people vying for your position. You see, the New York Jets have refused to re-sign Ryan Fitzpatrick (God knows why, he’s the only good team member other than the guy who re-fills the Gatorade jugs). So, Wide Receivers Eric Decker and Brandon Marshall have decided to stage a sit-out to show their solidarity with Fitzpatrick. There’s only one problem with this gentlemen: The Jets are trying to save money (Fitzpatrick wants $35 million, the GM [Mike Maccagnan] wants to give him $15 million, and I want a Jaguar XJ6, but hey, you don’t always get everything you want). You’re helping them save money. Trust me, you’re replaceable. They’ve already played rookie Quarterback Christian Hackenburg at the OTA’s, which is a clear indication that your days are numbered, Fitz. Soon, they’ll be replacing you too, Decker and Marshall. Plus they want people who will show up to work. Others are calling out, like Center Nick Mangold, who claims he just had a baby (men can’t have babies Nick, get in here), and Cornerback Darrelle Revis, who just had wrist surgery (good story, stick to it). I’ve seen how this ends guys. You call out too many times, your manager looks at the other applications and hires someone who comes into work! Well, that’s it for today…I have to leave early…I think I sprained my wrist typing too much.

…and that’s My Three Cents

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