By Benjamin Brunner
Did you hear the news? Eli Manning got benched! If you didn’t know, you obviously don’t subscribe to social media, because everyone who’s a fan of number 10 (besides fans of Megan Markle…she’s a ten on my list) is deliriously despaired. “This is the first time he hasn’t started since 2004!” “Where will he go next year?” “Will Ben McAdoo get fired?” “The Giants are tanking!” “My fantasy team!” “No one’s left to beat Brady!”
This is bad for us, because now we get double the Manning-exposure (the Nationwide commercials are officially surpassing the Progressive commercials on the Unbearable Commercials Chart). However, it could be good for the Giants. Coughlin is gone. Even before he left, his coach-quarterback duet with Eli only had one claim to fame…they could beat the Patriots. Ever since McAdoo came to town, it’s been pretty quiet. Maybe it’s time to rethink the franchise. I heard Jeff Fisher wants to coach in the NFL again…sorry, that was a terrible joke. Seriously though, the days of Odell Beckham’s one-handed catch and Victor Cruz’s salsa dancing are in the rear view mirror. Change is good. Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened. And if you’re smart, never use two cliches in the same column like I just did. That’s a Giant no-no. Watch it on the puns too.
So I hope we all learned something here today. Geno Smith is not the future of any New York team. Tom Brady is unstoppable. And don’t worry about Eli Manning. He’ll be back to playing in no time. Or he could always retire and do insurance commercials that are about everything except insurance.
That’s just My Three Cents